Monday, September 27, 2010

Talk all you want, good intercourse takes practice

My first blog back was going to be about last Tuesday's hilly little ride with the guys, but I got dropped so fast that there isn't much worth reporting other than I now have no doubt that eight weeks off the bike, on top of a general season without much riding, isn't the best strategy for surviving the hilliest Tuesday Night route of the season.

So let's move on...

I once heard the question, "Name a four letter word of intercourse?" naturally it's a question that provokes a smirk, maybe a grin, and perhaps a raised eyebrow. The answer, one option, is "talk."

Yes, talking is a form of intercourse - and apparently one the Manx Missile, Mark Cavendish, has confused with the other four letter option. This past weekend he was quoted by VeloNews online, in reference to holding on to a car in the Tour de France this past July,

"Are you f**king kidding me? If I go back, let alone if I'm dropped, I have two race officials, TV cameras, an ice-cream van and a marching band following me. How the f**k am I going to hold on to a car?” he asks.

Intercourse is apparently something Mark isn't very good at despite his constant practice. Colorful, or should that be colourful, definitely yes. Entertaining, well, all good intercourse should be. Sensitive, not so much. Kind to those with whom he is sharing the moment, rarely. All of which is odd considering his British upbringing. And there is the irony, he hails from the Isle of Man, yet hasn't become one. Unfortunately this little boy nor his language skills have matured.

Ah, the art of language. Now what is that saying? Ah yes, intercourse from another Mark, "It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."

All of which makes me miss the articulate "professor" - Laurent Fignon - even more.

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