A Tour to Die For

The Broom Wagon Brothers?

While the cold has not lifted from the pave of Paris-Roubaix and the peloton parading down the California coast has now been pushed to May, the cycling season does officially start this month. I don't mean that cake-walk sprinters race "downunder", I'm talk'n about a real race,... MANly cycling. A true race of truth. A race that, to paraphrase pro cyclist Kenny van Hummel, I'd eat my handlebars to finish. A race that harkens back to the days when Henri Degrange ruled the roads of France and they were mostly dirt and racers spread cocaine cream on their shaved legs to ward off the cold. Yes, this month riders pull out from the start of the 8th edition of the "Tour d'Afrique".

Easily the biggest cycling race on the planet just pedaled off from the start line in the shadows of the Great Pyramids. This year from the 16th January through 15th May, a total of 49 true 'convicts of the road" will depart from Cairo hoping to compete and complete the entire distance across wilds of the African continent. Another 19 will "weeny out" and only do sections of the race. Of course only those that do the complete tour are considered for the final classification.

So that got me thinking, Is there a Lanterne Rouge? Or do stragglers get pick off by the broom wagon brothers (photo above)? Just the prospect certainly inspires you to pound the pasta, gulp and extra GU and avoid bonking.

The total distance is 11,884 km, spread out over 120 days and 96 stages, dwarfing even the insanity of the original Grand Boucle which was a mere six stages over three weeks and a pedestrian 2,428 km. (Interestingly 60 riders took to that first start in France, about the same as participate each year in ToA.)
The ToA features 96 cycling "stages", averaging 123 km (77 miles) each, broken up by 22 rest days and 2 days of ferry boat travel for a total of 120 days in traversing Africa from north to south. Stages range from 80 km on rough terrain to more than 180 km on the best paved roads. All this before finally pedaling into the finish in Cape Town, South Africa mid-May.

The sections are:

• Pharaoh's Delight : from Cairo to Khartoum : 16 JAN TILL 04 FEB
• The Gorge : Khartoum to Addis Abeba : FEB 6 TILL 20
• Meltdown Madness : Addis Abeba to Nairobi : FEB 22 TILL MARCH 12
• Masai Steppe : Nairobi to Iringa : MAR 14 TILL 25TH
• Malawi Gin : Iringa to Lilongwe : MAR 27 TILL 05 APR
• Zambezi Zone : Lilongwe to Victoria Falls : APR 7 TILL 15TH
• Elephant Highway : Victoria Falls to Windhoek : APR 18 TILL 28
• Diamond Coast : Windhoek to Cape Town : APR 30 TILL MAY 15

You can follow this mad cap adventure on the ToA blog and learn more at Tour d'Afrique

8,500 of My Fellow Nut-cases

Well, I drank the cool-aid, or Gatorade, or Accelerade, or what ever liquid that is that makes us spend a small fortune to torture ourselves. My registration is in. I've bought the "package", including the 220 Euros for official "non-Residence in France" entry fee from Cyclomundo. As Goethe is quoted saying, "until one is committed there is hesitancy". Well hesitate no more, 2010 I'm tackling the Col du Tourmalet with 8,500 committed (or should be!) nut-cases - bring on the L'Etape du Tour!

The L'Etape is a little version of torture the folks at ASO, who run the Tour de France, dreamed up to let us wannabes try a shot at the pain and suffering the big boys go through. So in the true spirit of cycing-masichism ASO selects one stage of the TdF each to toss out for the amateur Convicts of the Road (and perhaps the truest Convicts)

Next Sunday July 18th I've decided to forgo my normal Tour de France ritual: morning cuppa Earl Grey, flip on the tube at 4:30AM and ring in the day with accented voices of Phil & Paul. Seven months from now Jenn and the "cycling kids" will have to hold my place in the cycling-room as the boys in the Tour begin their onslaught in the high mountains of the Pyrenees - Revel to Ax-3 Domaines. I'll be on the other side of those same French hills, staying in the Pyrennean foothill town of Tarbes, a half-hour from the my own start in Pau.

On a beautiful and warm (I hope) Sunday morning at 7:00 am I'll mount my trusty ride and join "a flow of more than 8,500 riders will be on their way for a warm up” over Col de Marie-Blanque and Col du Soulor before tackling Tourmalet!" according to the Cyclomundo's pre-package info. Haven ridden over Cols such as Marie-Blanque and Soulor, even at a casual pace I would not discredit them by referencing their gradients as "warm up". They are listed as

Col de Marie-Blanque	9,5 km at 7,5%
Col du Soulor par Ferrières	22 km at 4,9%
Col du Tourmalet par Barèges	19 km at 7,4%

But after riding there a couple years ago my legs and lungs can vouch for inclines of 9-12+%. And of that final little lump in the road, the Tourmalet? Well, I hammered my way up the easier west slope in 2008 - and foolishly muttered how fun it would be to tackle the steeper east slope, so next July 18th I'll find out, along with many other shared suffering souls - 8,500 of my fellow nut-cases!

After our little "warm up" we set our sites and front wheels on the geant of the Pyrenees - Col du Tourmalet - where we like the Pros (four days later on Stage 17) will summit; of course this is after they have crossed the Tourmalet two days earlier, hey, they're Pro Convicts, they get paid for gratuitous suffering. In a true statement of cyclo-dedication, I will also stick around and reclimb the Tourmalet to watch (and film) them come over on Tuesday Stage 16 (the epic Peyresourde-Aspin-Tourmalet-Aubisque). Yes, you read that right - I'll end up climbing the Tourmalet three times, from the steeper east side, in five days. I'm also considering swimming the English Channel and rowing a boat, with my bike, back across the Atlantic,

.... KIDDING - one collective act of insanity at a time :").

So now that I am mentally and financially committed, totally psyched to do this, I'll alter my racing plans for next year just a bit - coming off of Elkhorn Stage Race in late June I'll put in a few more long mountain kilometers getting ready for France - unfortunately the Cascade Cycling Classic stage race will be the victim, since the L'Etape and Cascade overlap - but hey, maybe I'm just exchanging one set of nut-cases for another?

More later on the L'Etape, my preparations and a daily blog from the Pyrenees as it all develops. If you want to know more about L'Etape 2010 check out Lindsay Crawford's experienced review on BikeRadar:

Preview: L’Etape du Tour 2010

Joe's Grand Day Out

Ya know, some days are just meant for being on your bike - period. You can come up with a bazillion reasons why you should be doing a mess of other things - cleaning the garage, yard work, sitting on your arse watching football, painting something, etc - but bottom line is, you ain't gunna get many days like this in late October. So despite a sore back and only three days on the bike in the past several weeks, Alex, Chris and I piled the trusty rides into the Sube, made a swing by "Barnyard's" (Helen Berhard's Bakery) so Chris could get the proper morning kick start of fried dough and sugar to help soak up his diet coke, and then we were off, headed east on I-84 for Hood River and Joe... and who ever else he could cajole into a Saturday on the roads.

Turns out his cajoling technique is par excellence est sans égale. No sooner had we shivered our way into a well discussed few layers of lyrca than Joe and a contrail of 30 plus arm-warmer clad folks came spinning up out of town. A cloudless deep blue sky over head, a fresh bite in the morning air and a gorgeous flush of fall color launched a perfect day on the bikes.

Seeing a gaggle of 30 or 40 riders pass by is too much temptation for anyone in a good pair of Sidis to resist. Michael Jones just finished a loop of 7 Mile Rd with the local group out of Hood River when "Joe's Grand Day Out" parade swooped through Mosier - 'Ya know, some days are just meant for being on your bike - period.' So he joined on and we rode along as the front of second group for a bit, chatting, talking local races and sharing like no other sport allows; and that's why the other non-impact sport doesn't work, ever try getting to know someone while doing the backstroke?

Joe had advertised this a "A bunch of us will probably ride it a notch or two below tempo cuz of fitness level and to enjoy the scenery." Well, while our roll-out along the Gorge was below tempo enough Joe was definitely le grand patron, riding up and down the ranks (Hmmm... can you say double yellow-line violation?)(see lead photo :")(Joe - next time that will cost you a pitcher at Double Mountain!) keeping the rogue-riders inline, offering up encouragement, reminding stragglers of the end and beer.

Slipping up around the back of The Dalles we crossed over hwy 197 and started a gentle pace up Eight Mile Creek Rd. - one of the nicest little lazy stretches of road anywhere in the state (unless you are popping a lung trying to scorch yourself to a win in the Cherry Blossom TT). Along the way our wildlife highlight of the day when Joe's band of turkeys encountered the local fowl - our pelotons were about the same size, but obviously lycra is more intimidating than feathers, and they surrendered to the convicts of the road.

After a regroup (BTW - nice sprint out for the stop-sign warning sign Bill) we headed into the "lumpy stuff" in the orchards behind (south) The Dalles. If you have never ridden there it's worth a day poking around; see the linked MAP - it's the area around Three Mile and Dry Hollow Roads. The route is on very low traffic roads through oak tree forests, cherry orchards, vineyards, and wheat fields - with some sweet views of Mt Hood.

After the regroup - and loss of Chris who decided to ride the road less traveled (can you say G R A V E L) and disappeared somewhere up Five Mile Rd. - Alex and I decided to give Seven Mile Rd climb a shot - no one else took the bait - so we said goodbyes until beers back in Hood River and road out The Dalles like the Lone Ranger and Tonto, two guys who knew something the rest of Joe's Peloton was oblivious to. What this pair was headed for was not a lovely climb above the Gorge (see "the best day ever" she burst! ), sweeping vistas of late October autumnal hues, but a survival ordeal of gusts and ripping winds to surpass anything Fabian Cancellara attempts at the San Diego Air & Space Technology Center Low Speed Wind tunnel; there was no position, TT or otherwise that was going to make this fun. So with bad back seconding the motion we turned, with wind at out saddlebags and flew back over to the Gorge Scenic Hwy and headed west. The wind was still blowing but at least twists and turns of the road offered occasional reprieves.

Into Mosier we crossed Chris - he didn't get our message and slugged it out over Seven Mile, encountered a baby rattlesnake, and survived the gusting sidewinds downhill. Thinking for certain we were trailing Joe & Co. we "notched" it down even further and pedal west to finish off 80 odd miles and six or so thousand feet of vertical - all the while wishing the Double Mountain folks would send a pizza out to meet us.

Thanks Joe for truly Gorge-ous Grand Day Out!