Monday, July 20, 2009

A weekend of whining about Hincapie

Okay, the guy is a really nice guy - we get it.

Okay, he help Lance win seven Tours de France - we get it.

Okay, he's the old beloved vet of the Pro peloton - we get it.

Okay, he busts his butt every flattish stage to get Cav into the right lead-out, it's his job, we get it.

Okay, we really want him to succeed because he is the good American guy and he has never won his beloved Hell of the North, Paris Roubaix, we get it.

But let's face it - George is not the brightest penny in the bag!!

For years now I have shouted and screamed at the TV screen during a spring classic for George to go, just go GOOOOO!!! It rips my heart out every frigg'n time I watch the 2001 Queen of the Classics and see those three Domo/Farm Frites riders work poor George over to take all three podium spots and leave him head-hung, mud-covered, rolling in fourth. That's when we all climbed up on the Hincapie caravan and began our collective 'Will-George-To-Win Campaign'.

Then shit-luck struck again in 2005 - in the break, strong teammates around, and the handlebars, of all things crack off (Trek - we really have never heard the explanation on that one?) - Oh man we shout, can our Big George buy a break!!??

But ya know something? For every damn time he has won something there have been three times I have screamed GO! And he doesn't. After 16 years of being a Pro you'd think he'd get it, we get it!

George, if you can pull Cav like a possessed demon that last K, if you can consistently TT with the best, then why didn't you go get the yellow jersey yourself, TT your arse off that last few K, and screw Garmin, and Astana, and your own sprinting teammates, and everyone else. As your own brash young Manx-missile teammate said, if you want to race like a junior, then race with juniors.

George, did your see that red, white and blue jersey bolt from the break group and leave everyone (including you) for dead and "Go" - review the video and you'll see he never looked back... do you get it??

Big George and the and the cover-every-angle-cycl0media never mention that when he won the "Queen Stage" of the TdF in 2005 that he sat in the ticket collector's position all day and then blew past Oscar Pereiro's wheel in the last K to take the victory. I didn't hear Hincapie or others claim foul that day... why not? Fortunately Pereiro got his stage a couple days later, because he again went for it - George please take note.

So George
(and whining George Fan Club Members) - get out your DVD player, pull up the 2005 Fleche Wallonne, and watch Jens Voigt bury himself for the better part of 50 frigg'n kilometers!! holding the peleton at bay for nearly an hour as they chased like froth-mouthed mad dogs - THAT is how you win a race or die trying. What the hell were you doing that last 10K?? You weren't going to outsprint anyone and your guys in the car obviously were spoon feeding you every last second of info into your earpiece. So, who the hell cares who was sitting on your wheel, quit looking around and... GO!

So all you Hincapie whiners - if you want a real American cycling hero - let's start a campaign to adopt Jens Voigt.

Oh well, as my friend Heidi Swift wrote in her blog, it's been a great soap opera so far. And that's the best part.

PSSSST George (and whining George Fan Club Members) - Did you happen to notice Katusha's Sergei Ivanov
after the stage, looking nearly dead, hunched over on the curb, bike carcass-like lying next to him looking equally exhausted (one of THE great Tour photos btw), head drooped between his legs, and chest heaving through his gaping jersey? As someone said, "That’s how a break-away stage winner should look."

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