Somewhere under the rainbow

Rainbows mean different things to different people - pots of gold, fortune in health, better weather - in Australia the aborigines of many clans believe the rainbow is one of two totemic spirits under which you are born, maybe for Aussie pro cyclist Cadel Evans 2010 under the rainbow jersey will be his attitudinal and personal rebirth.

Honestly, I can't say he is my favorite cyclists, in fact, he is one of my least favorite; every time I see that whiny face I want to heave my GU. On a ride yesterday with a couple of friends I mentioned the Worlds and they didn't even want to talk about it they were so disappointed Evans won; I think that is a fairly universal feeling.

Evans won the Worlds last Sunday by doing the very thing that everyone has so long complained about him lacking - how to attack with intelligence. Watching him over the past few years I could never fault the man from downunder for not giving it his all when he attacked, it's just that his attacks ended up about as pathetic as an attack could be timed, launched, and/or executed. After the inevitable failure they were usually followed by a post-race whining session or tirade.

The other miracle this rainbow might help create is happiness. One can only pray this rainbow casts its spell on Mr. Evan. He is notorious for being the biggest whiner in the peloton - hell, it's rumor that even many of his own Silence Lotto teammates this year didn't like riding with him; and something was certainly amiss in the Vuelta when he needed team support; maybe he was lucky even to be there, as it was Evans himself that said he was on the chopping block the last day of the Tour de France after a milk toast 30th place - but maybe it was his 'oh woe is me' attitude, when he wasn't berating and assaulting the media.

Somewhere under this new rainbow, earned with an intelligent attack we have not previously seen, maybe the saddest little boy in the peloton will find some happiness in 2010. Maybe next time he wins he will feel enough happiness to salute the fans. Let's pray on the miracle of rainbows.

TdF2010 Prologue - next weekend in Leadville??

The annual soap opera "As the Tour Turns" hadn't even finished its final circuit of the Champs, Cav was in fact still alseep behind Renshaw and Hincapie, when Bob Roll uttered, "I can't wait for 2010". And based on the diarrhea of speculation pouring out of the cyclomedia, so it appears neither can the majority of us. First, there are a few formalities that need to be delivered - a half dozen GP races and the like around Europe, reborn Tour of Soggy-clover (alias Ireland - thank god for the neutral beer zones!), stateside Tour of Mizzou, finally real racing at the Worlds in Mendrisio (cracker of a course) and my favorite Giro di Lombardia, the race of the falling leaves. But for anyone who is paying attention, the Tour's 2010 Prologue really starts next weekend with the Leadville 100 in Colorado not next July in Rotterdam.

If you haven't been watching this soap opera long you need to know that Leadville is not the archetype prologue for the Grand Boucle. Yes, since 1903 the Tour has gifted its opener to other nations nearly 20 times in all, most recently the Grand Depart 2009 was stunningly beautiful along the streets and cliffs of Monaco. So let's get back to Leadville, umm? Colorado? Isn't this August?

Cast your mind back one year, and where was Lance Armstrong? We're talk'n the old LA, before he was Twittering his every other thought. Yip, Leadville. He was there to ride the dusty Leadville 100 (as in miles) and see if he couldn't scare reigning five time champ Dave Wiens into submission. As VeloNews reported it he wasn't out to just make a showing:

"Armstrong accelerated on the Columbine climb — which tops out at over 12,000 feet elevation at the halfway point of the out-and-back race — and broke up a group of ten that had formed in the first half of the race. Wiens matched Armstrong's pace and in a few short miles the two had a five-minute gap over third place, which grew to more than 20 minutes at the 80-mile mark and more than a half hour at the finish."

It wasn't until the final 10 miles Wiens pulled away from Armstrong winning the race for the sixth time, in record time. Going into to this dirty little century LA is reportedly back to win, and destroy the 6 hour barrier.

So, Contador, Schlecks, Wiggins, and the rest, be watching. Watch very carefully. Don't look for advice from Cancellara, he won't be there, this isn't your typical Prologue, there will be only one TdF rider there, and he isn't your typical former Tour winner. Leadville isn't Rotterdam I agree, but in the thin air of Colorado this weekend an old guy is coming back to make a statement: I don't lose a race one year and forget about it the next. My guess is LA was thinking about tomorrow the last ten miles of last year's race. Just like he started thinking about TdF2010 in the last couple miles up Andorre Arcalis.

I find it hard to imagine he will crack the 6 hour barrier, but Lance has stunned us in Prologues before, and the message starting in 1999 - beware what the Prologue portends. But no one should be surprised to see him win in Leadville. Last year a victorious Wiens said, "The guy that I raced today was not the guy who won the Tours," August 15th the guy who races Tours is back, and he's looking to start the 2010 stage wins in Leadville.

No Phil, No Paul - Tour de France Withdrawals

Sleep-in 'till 6, listen to NPR Morning Edition, return emails, just reconnect with the world, but no --- instead I wake at 5 AM and lay there, my brain says rise, stagger to the remote and say good morning to Phil (Liggett) and Paul (Sherwin). As they get settled, telling me what I have heard a dozen times, but somehow I feel hooked like a cycloaddict needing to hear it said one more time, maybe somewhere inside I know I have limited time for a fix, I fill the water pot to boil and get my cuppa Earl Grey tea started. But it's Day 24 of the Tour's 23. It's the morning after. It's the coming down, going cold turkey, slamming on the breaks. It's like dropping a chain a 15% climb, all forward progress ceases, your brain sends a warning - "clip out NOW!" It's Tour de France withdrawals.

Sadly, this has been going on for years, you think I would learn, I would adapt, for God's-sake species go extinct for less flexibility. Has 4 million years of cranial evolution not prepared me for this one Monday morning each late July?

I think what makes it harder is the general death valley of cycling that August is, or historically has been. In the past the Tour of Germany gave me brief reprieve with the mono-a-mono hilly battles between Levi Leipheimer and effervescent road warrior Jens Voigt. Perhaps this year will be different, I hope, I pray, but staring into my cuppa EG I'm doubtful. I'm not alone. On the Tour's final Sunday I heard Phil say, lamentingly, resolutely, "tomorrow I have no job", and while the pro race calender has a couple of things for Phil (and Paul) to do - a reborn Tour of Ireland, Vuelta Espana, World Championships, and the most poetic, graceful finish of the season in any sport, "the Race of the Falling Leaves" - Giro di Lombardia.

The cuppa EG stares back...

It's like an annual death in the family - and the family is already squabbling; Maillot jaune victor Contidor is dissing Lance, "My relationship with Lance Armstrong is zero," (careful skinny-legged little boy, don't pull the tiger's tail); LA shrugs when asked about Conti, too busy forming a new team - USPS v4.0; Sastre still complains of no respect and trying to figure out why his Tour went "all pair-shaped" (Conti please take another note: TdF requires a team, yours is upgrading without you to LAv4.0), Cadel sits in the corner pouting; Menchov is still trying to reverse the Invisible-man Giro potion he swallowed in May; but these brats are my family of wheeled wonders and I love them one-n-all. The thought of waiting another year for this family reunion is killing me.

The final obit is written later in the morning when I return the box to Comcast - still set on Versus where it began 23 days earlier when the tech guy installed; I only awaken the tv-beast for the three weeks of the Tour, otherwise it's my December through January DVD training partner. The Comcast clerk doesn't even ask why it's coming back, there must be a note on my file, "don't ask".

Phil, good luck on the resume, despite getting older, with your experience there will be openings, otherwise swing by for a cuppa.

A day for 'Old Farts'

So said Andrew Hood on Velonews, "Armstrong settled into third place at 5:24 back, a remarkable achievement following his three-year retirement."

Remarkable, c'mon Andrew, give the man his due! I just finished a second stage 14 mile TT surrounded by a lot of other 'old farts' - older doesn't mean dead, in fact I would say mental toughness builds and experience and stamina kick in. We need more 'old farts' out here!

Andrew went on to say, "At 37, Armstrong is one of the oldest podium finishers ever. His experience and race savvy proved decisive throughout the race, most evident in key moments when he snuck into the front group when the pack split in stage 3 to Le Grande Motte" And maybe this is one of the most overlooked qualities of LA and age, we get smarter. I firmly believe LA is THE smartest cyclist ever to compete in the Tour. One only has to replay a handful of DVDs to get the message loud in clear. It started in 1999 on the Passage du Goisand has continued on in every Tour since. My personal favorite was a sprint up the right side out of the peloton to cross badly angled railroad track in a week one stage in 2004 (I think). With space LA took them at his own angle - their was a small crash in the peloton - insignificant?

"With new sponsor RadioShack, Armstrong promises to be back next year even stronger." says Hood. Hell, he'll be older, and 'older fart' so why not, more stamina, experience and toughness.

“I will race next year with my team and I think I will be even stronger,” Armstrong said. “We will have a strong team. I am already looking forward to next year.”

Wer'e still waiting for morning TT times and results, but regardless I'm really happy the way a bunch of old rafts have ridden the roads of Bend the past two days. Not all of America has 'round things out' into a state of obesity. "At 37, Armstrong is one of the oldest podium finishers ever." Bring on the crit this afternoon - the old farts are clip'n in and ready :"))

A weekend of whining about Hincapie

Okay, the guy is a really nice guy - we get it.

Okay, he help Lance win seven Tours de France - we get it.

Okay, he's the old beloved vet of the Pro peloton - we get it.

Okay, he busts his butt every flattish stage to get Cav into the right lead-out, it's his job, we get it.

Okay, we really want him to succeed because he is the good American guy and he has never won his beloved Hell of the North, Paris Roubaix, we get it.

But let's face it - George is not the brightest penny in the bag!!

For years now I have shouted and screamed at the TV screen during a spring classic for George to go, just go GOOOOO!!! It rips my heart out every frigg'n time I watch the 2001 Queen of the Classics and see those three Domo/Farm Frites riders work poor George over to take all three podium spots and leave him head-hung, mud-covered, rolling in fourth. That's when we all climbed up on the Hincapie caravan and began our collective 'Will-George-To-Win Campaign'.

Then shit-luck struck again in 2005 - in the break, strong teammates around, and the handlebars, of all things crack off (Trek - we really have never heard the explanation on that one?) - Oh man we shout, can our Big George buy a break!!??

But ya know something? For every damn time he has won something there have been three times I have screamed GO! And he doesn't. After 16 years of being a Pro you'd think he'd get it, we get it!

George, if you can pull Cav like a possessed demon that last K, if you can consistently TT with the best, then why didn't you go get the yellow jersey yourself, TT your arse off that last few K, and screw Garmin, and Astana, and your own sprinting teammates, and everyone else. As your own brash young Manx-missile teammate said, if you want to race like a junior, then race with juniors.

George, did your see that red, white and blue jersey bolt from the break group and leave everyone (including you) for dead and "Go" - review the video and you'll see he never looked back... do you get it??

Big George and the and the cover-every-angle-cycl0media never mention that when he won the "Queen Stage" of the TdF in 2005 that he sat in the ticket collector's position all day and then blew past Oscar Pereiro's wheel in the last K to take the victory. I didn't hear Hincapie or others claim foul that day... why not? Fortunately Pereiro got his stage a couple days later, because he again went for it - George please take note.

So George (and whining George Fan Club Members) - get out your DVD player, pull up the 2005 Fleche Wallonne, and watch Jens Voigt bury himself for the better part of 50 frigg'n kilometers!! holding the peleton at bay for nearly an hour as they chased like froth-mouthed mad dogs - THAT is how you win a race or die trying. What the hell were you doing that last 10K?? You weren't going to outsprint anyone and your guys in the car obviously were spoon feeding you every last second of info into your earpiece. So, who the hell cares who was sitting on your wheel, quit looking around and... GO!

So all you Hincapie whiners - if you want a real American cycling hero - let's start a campaign to adopt Jens Voigt.

Oh well, as my friend Heidi Swift wrote in her blog, it's been a great soap opera so far. And that's the best part.

PSSSST George (and whining George Fan Club Members) - Did you happen to notice Katusha's Sergei Ivanov after the stage, looking nearly dead, hunched over on the curb, bike carcass-like lying next to him looking equally exhausted (one of THE great Tour photos btw), head drooped between his legs, and chest heaving through his gaping jersey? As someone said, "That’s how a break-away stage winner should look."